Step Families

Being part of a step family inherently has it's challenges. There are x-spouses to coordinate with, step-children, and parenting styles that are high on the list of what can create challenging experiences. We are not exempt from these difficulties.

Miscommunitcations occur in the coordinating of schedules and sometimes panties get in a wad. It is funny the range of emotions one feels toward there own x-spouse, as well as the other previous spouse in the equation. (I hate the word "x"). I guess I'll need to get over that as it is going to be an integral part of my, my husbands, and our children's lives. At times I find myself feeling positive towards these x's even seeing the value of keeping a "friendly" relationship for the kids sake. In other moments I feel like it is just setting yourself up for the same disappointments and frustrations you lived through during the marriage. Keep it about business, and the business is the children. I've been given this advice by a few sources, and it is probably sound. Even with these difficulties I think we have been lucky thus far in our step family. Our kids are young so I think this is a huge blessing in the blending process. They range for 6 to 3. They have been loving and excepting of the change, and each other. They play well together and have fun together and when they are adults they will have few memories of not having a blended family. Obviously there is some sadness in this, but we are making the best of our situation and are feeling so blessed to be a family unit, even if it is a bit different than the traditional.

I inherited Carson, Matt's boy. He is three. He's is a doll face. Matt doesn't love it when I use terms such as this when talking about his "boy", but it is true. He has beautiful brown eyes, and a mop of blonde hair. I have him practice saying, "Mom, my eyes are my best feature." This is something we started the last few times we've had him, and I wonder if he relays the message to his mom. He will tease me and say, best teacher instead of feature. He and I have had our differences. He as only recently decided he likes me. He informed his mom of this, and she wanted to text me and tell me, but then was worried how I might take it. I was well aware of his distaste for me. From what I can tell Jodi, is positive with Carson about the other half of his family and and think this will go a long way in insuring we have a positive relationship and interactions during the time we have with this cute boy. I am grateful to her for this. This little boy can also be a bit stubborn and contrary. I blame the contrary on his age and we will refer to his stubbornness as determination, that is what I call mine. I'm always of the belief that stubbornness can in some regards be a blessing; at times this life requires a large amount of stick to it spirit, which can be a variety of good old fashion stubbornness. How do like my spin on this virtue I share with the little guy? Carson has been well received by my kids and he and I are getting on quite a bit better, which makes me happy. I love it when I catch Matt watching Carson and I having a positive interaction, I can see in his eyes the happiness and joy this brings him. I can relate to those feelings and the overwhelming feeling of love you have towards someone who loves your kid, when they didn't have too.

I know Matt loves my kiddos and I am so grateful he does. He is a good influence in there lives. The kids have been accepting of him and for that I am also grateful. They love him and we are all lucky to have each other.

Jeremy has also been positive to the kids about Matt which is a blessing. This is not always the case in these situations. There is history and hurts, and so often in the step families I hear about, I only hear the negatives, and I hope so much that we can minimize this and focus on the positives. Our four children, each have 3 parents that love them and want what's best for them. Sometimes it is easy to let our frustrations reign, but I'm hoping for the kids, we can keep them in check. I'm grateful for my family, and for the hard things that brought me to my current family. While I wouldn't wish divorce on anyone, I've learned some hard lessons and am hopefully better for them.